My story.
There was a period in my life when nothing seemed to add up. I was in a relationship that was slowly destroying me, and in the end I had to leave it. I had nowhere else to go, so I moved back into my parents' house, the same house I'd kept at arm's length from for over twenty years.
It was only after I moved back in that things with them got harder too. My father had multiple heart attacks in the space of a day and very nearly died. A week later, doctors found he had terminal cancer. There I was, caring for two people I'd spent decades keeping my distance from, while my own life was falling apart around me.
I tried to get help. My GP put me on medication and a waiting list, six months for counselling, three months for CBT. I didn't know if I could hold on that long. So I stopped waiting for someone else to fix it, and started finding my own way through instead.
Over those last years, my parents and I had the conversations we'd been avoiding for twenty years. We talked about the distance, why it had happened, what it had cost all three of us. Some of it was hard to say. All of it needed saying. I spent the last three and a half years of their lives caring for them. By the time they died, we finally understood each other.
Why I do this work
Around one in four people will experience some kind of estrangement from a family member in their lifetime. I know the child's side of that personally. And from years of doing this work, I've watched what it does to parents too.
I've seen how easily a parent can slip into what I think of as hold mode. Life on pause, waiting for a phone call that might not come for years. Never fully living, because part of you is still waiting.
I've also seen what it looks like when that changes: sleeping properly again, making plans without checking your phone first, being able to enjoy time with the people already in your life.
Nobody needs to stay there. Whatever happens with your child, however long it takes, you're allowed to have your life back.
Where to go next.
If any of this sounds familiar, the next step is a free 45-minute Clarity Call. A real conversation about where you are, and whether this is the right next step for you.
Or read more about how I actually work, on the My Approach page.
